Getting Back Into Shapes

So I finally decided to sign up to Shapes again. Sobrang I am so out of shape na as in bumalik na ako sa 230lbs. Waah Like I gained 15 lbs during those two months na hindi ako nagwork out. I am hoping this time successful na ako. I also have a female trainer now, baka this time it will be successful kasi wala na akong ulterior motive and I will be doing this for myself and not for anyone else. Sigh.

Update

I realized that I haven't updated my blog for a while. I don't have anything to blog rin naman. I mean nothing really exciting happened to me except for my close encouters na muntik na akong mabangga. Speaking of, in fairness I waxed my Outlander for the very first time. Sana lang tumagal yung shine. Lol.

I bought the complete season dvd of Glee. It is a good thing that I've waited for the complete season. Kasi if you buy Volume 1 and 2 separately, it will cost you for $32 for each volume while the complete one only cost $39. So I had a Glee marathon this weekend. (I just found out that they also released the complete music album in Itunes!) Can't wait for season 2!

Next time na lang yung ibang update. Medyo nadistract kasi ako eh. Lol

Cleaning Up My Inbox

Since Email providers started offering big mailbox sizes with their free account, I think I rarely delete my emails. Minsan even yung mga email offers or yung mga job postings sa mga yahoo groups ko eh nakasave pa. I actually try to clean my inbox once in a while pero last friday I really deleted all my emails. I think it took me like 3 hours to delete all my emails in my 3 accounts. I think the oldest one that I had is back in 2006 pa.

Actually, kaya lang ako natagalan kasi I read some of the emails that I kept. I saw some of the email of this certain person. Wala lang, nakakapang hinayang lang na we've fallen apart. I kept those emails kasi this person used to be special to me. I guess it is time to move on.

As I said in my previous entries. It is hard for me to let go of memories and the thingst that I think is important. Pero naisip ko rin ang tagal ko na rin namang hindi nababasa yung mga email na yun. I guess yun nga yun ang mga tipong memories na kailangan ko ng bitawan.

I am now starting to clean up the clutters in my life. I am taking a break on my CGA this year. I guess the break would give me a good time to think things over.

On a lighter note, my officemate told me na I am more confident in driving now. Actually, medyo comfortable na ako even with parking kahit paano.

Of Knowing What You Really Want

I had a conversation with a friend about staying on something that doesn't make you happy anymore or causing you too much pain. I usually say that if something doesn't make you happy anymore and making you miserable, it's not worth of your time and just let go. The problem is you just can't let go of something that easy especially if it becomes an important part of your life.

You then have to know what you really want. I have learned that most of the time, we think we know what we want but in reality we actually don't know what we want. I am not using the word need because need and want are different concepts. You can easily tell the difference of "what you think you want" and "what you actually want". Once you got the thing the thing that you want, if your happiness is a quick one yung tipong sandali lang hindi ka na uli masaya, then you just thought na you want it. Pero if it lasted, then you actually get what you want.

It is hard to distinguish between the two. Ang hirap sabihin until it actually materialized. Kaya you always hear na "akala ko kasi gusto ko sya" or "akala ko kasi okay". In my experience, I actually need to think things over.

I thought I want to quit my job. I was in the verge of talking to my boss to tell him that I want to quit. Inisip ko what makes me want this job when I started aside from the need to have a job. After that inisip ko yung mga bagay na making me want to quit. None of the things that makes me want to quit is job related or even the work environment (although I am not a fan of our work environment but it is good enough). I just can't move on. I mean parang feeling ko I still want to do my old job na parang ang saya saya nila run. The perks that their having. Naiinggit ako, it makes me feel bad about my job. Then add the fact that my officemates that are my friends are quitting. When I listen to their angst, I feel bad for myself for staying. I think about these thing then I realized that first, this is my new life and I have to accept that I can't go back anymore and then I never felt my former officemates felt when they were working in our company so why should I feel bad for myself. Removing these factors, I realized that I like what I am doing and I actually like where I am right now. That moment makes me realized I really don't want to quit.

My friend said that she thinks she wants it to be over but in reality she doesn't. Sabi pa nya "Matagal ko ng gustong gawin kaso pag andyan na, hindi ko magawa kasi ang hirap, ang sakit sakit".I told her, I think it's the other way around because sometimes, the one that we truly desire is the hardest one to achieve.