Of Almost Quitting

Lately, I find myself on almost quitting in every aspect of my life. I started to feel hopeless on things that I wish that I could have or I could have been. Feeling ko napapagod na ako. I was getting tired of my life. Parang I started to feel that I don't want to do these things anymore. I want something new. I want changes. Feeling ko kasi almost lahat ng gusto ko eh nagawa ko na or nasa akin na and discontentment started to take over me. Yes, I was thinking of quitting my job and looking for something else or maybe pursuing what I think I want. I was getting eaten by jealousy. I envied those people that I know that do what ever they wanted to do and getting what they need. I felt that I am such a loser. Yes I am in Canada, I got a good job and yet I thought I still don't have the things that I though that matters.

I was thinking of all these things when I decided to delete my blogs. Naisip ko, I haven't updated my blog regularly na and I just don't have anything to blog na because of my boring existence. I want to start with my Multiply account. I decided to quickly browse my entries. A realization suddenly happened.

I am 26 years old for crying out loud. I should start acting my age na. I mean I should stop being childish and start being an actual adult. My last few blog entries were written like I was still in highschool or college. Masyadong mababaw. I just got too many insecurities in my life that I need to get rid of. I should start thinking of what I currently have right now and be thankful to that. Pumasok rin sa isip ko yung dinner namin yesterday. Some people are trying their best to do anything just to live normally while here I am I was given a chance to live a normal life and yet I am so ready to throw it all away.

I also realized that there are a lot of eye opening events that are happening to me that I keep on ignoring. Maybe I should start reflecting on those and change for the better. Ayoko ng maging bitter.

I also decided na I would not delete my blogs anymore. I just can't throw memories and I learned from those things in my past. I will also try my best to be more mature in my blog entries.