Pebrero na.. The so called "love month".
Nabasa ko ang mga previous entries ko, and napansin ko na mushyness ang mga latest entries ko. What the hell is happening to me?ahahahaha. Di naman obvious na in love ako?hehehe. No don't get me wrong, I don't have anyone special right now, I mean, uhm, I don't have someone to call "mine" right now and I won't be spending my valentines day with that special someone, most prob sina Beng ang mga kasama ko sa araw na yun sa UP fair, ang puntahan ng SMV hehehe. Basta ang masasabi ko lang I'm quite happy right now. =) Like nakaloop yung track na "always you" sa cd player ko ngayon hehehe. Sheesh love fever is on.
~~~
Share ko lang: kung yung iba may mga song na gustong iplay during their wedding or the like ako naman may song ako na gustong iplay during lovemaking hehehehe. Gusto kong play yung "Waiting in Vain" na version ni Annie Lennox. Wala lang hehehehe.
~~~
Aargh...ang dami ko pang dapat na imodel na time series...sana maging ok.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Always You
You have the most angelic baby face that I've seen.
Except for some gray hairs, you look perfectly young.
Your skin is as smooth and as soft as silk and as white as snow.
Your eyes are beautiful and deep.
Your lips are soft and kissable.
You smell so sweet and wonderful.
Kahit amoy cigarette ka, you smell good pa rin. I mean I hate the smell of smoke except pag ikaw. You make me wanna try to smoke so I can spend cigarette break with you.
Even though you don't have the perfect physique, for me you are sexy and hot.
Your smile is so perfect but I like you when you look serious, you are so damn beautiful
Your voice is soothing to my ears and it make me shiver.
I think I'm falling hard for you...
Always You
If it wasn't the oceans,
wasn't the breezes,
wasn't the white sands,
I might not be needed,
If I could sleep through the coal mines,
If I could breathe through hatred,
If I could, work through the summer,
then I woulnd't feel so humble,
oh you, it's always you,
it's always you.
If red roses weren't so lovely,
Wine didn't taste so good,
Stars weren't so romantic,
Then I could do what I should
Oh you, it's always you
It's always you.
Oh you, it's always you
It's always you
If you love, I could command it,
Get your head, to understand it,
I'd go twice, around the world,
Even though, I may not find it.
Oh you, it's always you,
It's always you.
You, it's always you,
It's always you.
Except for some gray hairs, you look perfectly young.
Your skin is as smooth and as soft as silk and as white as snow.
Your eyes are beautiful and deep.
Your lips are soft and kissable.
You smell so sweet and wonderful.
Kahit amoy cigarette ka, you smell good pa rin. I mean I hate the smell of smoke except pag ikaw. You make me wanna try to smoke so I can spend cigarette break with you.
Even though you don't have the perfect physique, for me you are sexy and hot.
Your smile is so perfect but I like you when you look serious, you are so damn beautiful
Your voice is soothing to my ears and it make me shiver.
I think I'm falling hard for you...
Always You
If it wasn't the oceans,
wasn't the breezes,
wasn't the white sands,
I might not be needed,
If I could sleep through the coal mines,
If I could breathe through hatred,
If I could, work through the summer,
then I woulnd't feel so humble,
oh you, it's always you,
it's always you.
If red roses weren't so lovely,
Wine didn't taste so good,
Stars weren't so romantic,
Then I could do what I should
Oh you, it's always you
It's always you.
Oh you, it's always you
It's always you
If you love, I could command it,
Get your head, to understand it,
I'd go twice, around the world,
Even though, I may not find it.
Oh you, it's always you,
It's always you.
You, it's always you,
It's always you.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Love is Simply Complicated
This should have been an entry about me trying to figure out love
While doing a supposed to be an entry last weekend using my almighty pen and paper (yup, you read it right, pen and paper. No internet connection in our home and yung pc gamit ng ate ko for her own pleasure) I arrived with so many questions about love like if it is possible to teach our heart to love someone, what is the proper way to love someone, can we really choose who to love or not to love and is true love once in a life time etc.
In my futile attempt to answer my questions about the thing called love, I found myself contradicting with my own answers. I'm actually in the middle of what is ideal and what is reality. Its like answering the question in a logical and ideal way but something inside me is yelling for a different answer. This something might have been based on what I had experienced and from the experienced of my friends. Its like someone arguing with my head telling "Yan madaling sabihin sa mga story lang nangyayari, eto yung sa totoong buhay". With these thoughts running in my head, I stopped doing the entry and figured out some things. Its really hard to have the right answers or even an ideal answers in matters about love. There is no really love guru or love expert (no offense to Joe D' Mango). True it is really easy to give "ideal advice" about love especially if you are not in the shoes of the people you are offering the advice. For me every love story is unique and wonderful, whether it will be a happy ending or not. We create our own story and we decide what to do. Happy, sad, pain and anger all of these are part of the package. For me the beautiful thing about love is it being simply unexplainable and complicated. We can arrive with so many questions, we might have answer a few but still more questions will come until we arrive with the "I don't know" answer which is the wonderful part of it, the "not knowing". In the process of learning, we will find our answers but these answers are only applicable in our own love story and these answers are often unsaid
Love is really a mystery...and an unfathomable one.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Kung Mawawala Ka...
"Kung mawawala ka hindi ko makakaya harapin ang bukas na nag-iisa
Kung ako'y iiwan mo paano na tayo, sayang ang pangako sa isa't isa.."
One of the things that make me think nowadays. Una, how can we tell that we really cannot go on with our lives without someone who had been a part of our lives for quite some time? I mean siguro sanay ka lang na lagi syang andyan kaya pag nawala siya sa iyo parang ang hirap. Fact naman talaga na mahirap gawin ang isang bagay lalo na pag hindi ka sanay. Kung baga nakakapanibago. Pero in the long run, baka masanay ka rin. Pero kailan mo masasabing hindi mo kayang mabuhay na wala siya?
Naranasan ko na dati ang ganyan. Nung bigla syang nawala sa buhay ko, nawala yung daily routine namin, sobrang sakit at hirap ang nararnasan ko. I thought I cannot go on and I can't live life na wala sya. Pero sabi nga sa kanta "Time has been such a friend" kaya nasanay na rin ako at I'm living na wala sya.
Let's go back sa question na kailan mo masasabing hindi mo kayang mabuhay na wala sya. This is the question of "Do you love me because you need me or do you need me because you love me?" This came from the movie "Cinderella" which stars Brandy and Paolo Montalban (Note:Milan is claiming that the line is an original from the writer of Milan, please lang wag magclaim ng walang proof!) We often mistook need as love. Parang minsan nacoconfuse tayo na inaakala natin na mahal natin ang isang tao kasi kailangan natin sya. Kailangan natin ng kausap, kasama at kung anu ano pa. Imagine na pag nawala na sila or hindi mo na sila kailangan mawawala na yung love na nararamdaman mo. Siguro importante lang sila sa iyo pero don't take it as love. Iba yung mahal mo yung tao kaya mo sya kailangan. Mahal mo sya kahit alam mong wala ka naman talagang pakinabang sa kanya. Mahal mo sya kahit ang tanging papel nya sa buhay mo ay pagandahin ang araw mo at iparamdam sa iyo na masarap mabuhay. Kailangan mo sya dahil sya ang buhay mo, sya ang nagpapakita sa iyo na masarap mabuhay at masarap magmahal. Kailangan mo sya dahil sya lang ang nagpapasaya sa iyo. Kailangan mo sya hindi dahil kailangan mo lang ng kausap, o makikinig o sasama sa iyo kung saan saan o nakadepende ang buhay mo sa kanya. Kailangan mo sya simply kasi mahal mo sya.
Naranasan ko na rin yan, dahil nung simula ng nawala sya sa buhay ko..nawalan na ng kulay ang paligid ko. I find it hard to be really happy. Although someone is making me happy right now..but not that happy.
~~~
Thank You
At last, may nashashare-an na ako ng mga kilig moments ko dito sa office about super crush.
Thanks Myra!=)
~~~
Mga Kakaibang Hirit sa mga TV shows
"Maswerte raw pong makipagtalik ngayong araw ang hari" - Jewel in the Palace
-Hanu raw???
"Dati akala ko ang kulay ng mata mo dark brown, pero chocolate brown pala" -Maalaala Mo Kaya
--Anak ng Pota sa hirit!
Kung ako'y iiwan mo paano na tayo, sayang ang pangako sa isa't isa.."
One of the things that make me think nowadays. Una, how can we tell that we really cannot go on with our lives without someone who had been a part of our lives for quite some time? I mean siguro sanay ka lang na lagi syang andyan kaya pag nawala siya sa iyo parang ang hirap. Fact naman talaga na mahirap gawin ang isang bagay lalo na pag hindi ka sanay. Kung baga nakakapanibago. Pero in the long run, baka masanay ka rin. Pero kailan mo masasabing hindi mo kayang mabuhay na wala siya?
Naranasan ko na dati ang ganyan. Nung bigla syang nawala sa buhay ko, nawala yung daily routine namin, sobrang sakit at hirap ang nararnasan ko. I thought I cannot go on and I can't live life na wala sya. Pero sabi nga sa kanta "Time has been such a friend" kaya nasanay na rin ako at I'm living na wala sya.
Let's go back sa question na kailan mo masasabing hindi mo kayang mabuhay na wala sya. This is the question of "Do you love me because you need me or do you need me because you love me?" This came from the movie "Cinderella" which stars Brandy and Paolo Montalban (Note:Milan is claiming that the line is an original from the writer of Milan, please lang wag magclaim ng walang proof!) We often mistook need as love. Parang minsan nacoconfuse tayo na inaakala natin na mahal natin ang isang tao kasi kailangan natin sya. Kailangan natin ng kausap, kasama at kung anu ano pa. Imagine na pag nawala na sila or hindi mo na sila kailangan mawawala na yung love na nararamdaman mo. Siguro importante lang sila sa iyo pero don't take it as love. Iba yung mahal mo yung tao kaya mo sya kailangan. Mahal mo sya kahit alam mong wala ka naman talagang pakinabang sa kanya. Mahal mo sya kahit ang tanging papel nya sa buhay mo ay pagandahin ang araw mo at iparamdam sa iyo na masarap mabuhay. Kailangan mo sya dahil sya ang buhay mo, sya ang nagpapakita sa iyo na masarap mabuhay at masarap magmahal. Kailangan mo sya dahil sya lang ang nagpapasaya sa iyo. Kailangan mo sya hindi dahil kailangan mo lang ng kausap, o makikinig o sasama sa iyo kung saan saan o nakadepende ang buhay mo sa kanya. Kailangan mo sya simply kasi mahal mo sya.
Naranasan ko na rin yan, dahil nung simula ng nawala sya sa buhay ko..nawalan na ng kulay ang paligid ko. I find it hard to be really happy. Although someone is making me happy right now..but not that happy.
~~~
Thank You
At last, may nashashare-an na ako ng mga kilig moments ko dito sa office about super crush.
Thanks Myra!=)
~~~
Mga Kakaibang Hirit sa mga TV shows
"Maswerte raw pong makipagtalik ngayong araw ang hari" - Jewel in the Palace
-Hanu raw???
"Dati akala ko ang kulay ng mata mo dark brown, pero chocolate brown pala" -Maalaala Mo Kaya
--Anak ng Pota sa hirit!
You Got A Message
Weird ones though...
*Riing
Me: *picked up the phone*
Machine Operator:You have 3 messages. Press 7 to listen to the message
Me:*pressed 7*
Machine Operator:This message came from an outside source...."Hello, I'm black Mestiza..you can reach me tru 0920(i forgot the whole number and the whole message in her moaning malanding voice) To delete the message press 3, to save the message press 2 to repeat the message press 7
Me:*pressed 7, wondering if what i heard was right*
Machine Operator:This message came from an outside source...."Hello, I'm black Mestiza..you can reach me tru 0920 To delete the message press 3, to save the message press 2 to repeat the message press 7
Me:*pressed 3 and hung up*
*Riiing
Me:*picked up the phone*
Machine Operator:You have a new message. Press 7 to listen to the message
Me:*pressed 7*
Machine Operator:This message came from an outside source "hi ooh i'm ooh...(can't understand some words since puro moan ang narinig ko) you can reach me tru..(can't recall the number)...local (cant recall again) we can.."
Me:*hung up and shocked*
*Riing
Me:*picked up the phone*
Machine Operator:You have a new message. Press 7 to listen to the message
Me:*Pressed 7 with disgust*
Machine Operator:This message came from an outside source "Hi I'm William Umali (something) If you want me to do something call my (something uli) I can be (more something uli)" To delete the message press 3, to save the message press2 to repeat the message press 7.
Me:*Pressed 3 and hung up*
Me<-pissed off
Who would expect to receive such message in a corporate phone??
*Riing
Me: *picked up the phone*
Machine Operator:You have 3 messages. Press 7 to listen to the message
Me:*pressed 7*
Machine Operator:This message came from an outside source...."Hello, I'm black Mestiza..you can reach me tru 0920(i forgot the whole number and the whole message in her moaning malanding voice) To delete the message press 3, to save the message press 2 to repeat the message press 7
Me:*pressed 7, wondering if what i heard was right*
Machine Operator:This message came from an outside source...."Hello, I'm black Mestiza..you can reach me tru 0920 To delete the message press 3, to save the message press 2 to repeat the message press 7
Me:*pressed 3 and hung up*
*Riiing
Me:*picked up the phone*
Machine Operator:You have a new message. Press 7 to listen to the message
Me:*pressed 7*
Machine Operator:This message came from an outside source "hi ooh i'm ooh...(can't understand some words since puro moan ang narinig ko) you can reach me tru..(can't recall the number)...local (cant recall again) we can.."
Me:*hung up and shocked*
*Riing
Me:*picked up the phone*
Machine Operator:You have a new message. Press 7 to listen to the message
Me:*Pressed 7 with disgust*
Machine Operator:This message came from an outside source "Hi I'm William Umali (something) If you want me to do something call my (something uli) I can be (more something uli)" To delete the message press 3, to save the message press2 to repeat the message press 7.
Me:*Pressed 3 and hung up*
Me<-pissed off
Who would expect to receive such message in a corporate phone??
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Laugh A Little
I just realized the old saying is true. Laughter is still the best medicine.
In my everyday venture in life, I often find myself stressed out, tired, indifferent and a little bit numb. Work drained all the energy I have for the day. The mere thought of my monotonous work life makes me tired already. I'm starting to feel backpains, headaches and a lot of aches due to work. I hate to admit it but I'm starting to lose my "life" because of work. Not that I want it though... but sometimes situations leave you with no choice.
But then an hour of lunch out with my officemates removes all the stress.
Yup, as Mildred, my officemate, said we just need to laugh a little to remove all the negative things that we are feeling. I find myself being freed from the burdens that I have while laughing.
Laughter really helps, after blurting all your anger, complains and whines you need to laugh.
When you are feeling depressed and life is conspiring against you, fight and laugh a little.
When you are down and people are closing their doors to you, compose your self and laugh a little
When you are left alone or your love one left you, move on and laugh a little.
When you are fed up with your work, go out with friends and laugh a little.
When you are confused, have some time alone to think and laugh a little.
When you are sad, smile and laugh a little.
For everything else, do what you must do and remember to laugh a little.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
My Feelings Materialized
I'll just speak through these songs..
"From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, boy
My heart said follow through
But I know now that I'm way down on your line
But the waiting feeling's fine
don't wanna wait in vain for your love
'Cause summer is here - and I'm still waiting there
Winter is here - and I'm still waiting there
Like I said -It's been three years since I'm knocking on your door
And still I can knock some more
is it crazy look, I wanna know now For I to knock some more
You see
In life I know that there is lots of grief
But your love is my relief
Tears in my eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn
While I'm waitin'
While I'm waitin' for my turn"
--Waiting in Vain
"Loving Someone Losing Myself Only Got Me to Blame"--Fallin
"Oh, you probably won't remember me It's probably ancient history I'm one of the chosen few Who went ahead and fell for you I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch I fell too fast, I feel too much I thought that you might have some advice to give,How to be insensitive"--Insensitive
"Maybe you soon Forget about allOr maybe you'll miss it like I do But one thing's for sure I'm all knocked out I spend too much time thinking of you And I can't get you out of my dreams Now I know you're the dangerous kind And your smile is tattooed on my mind 'Cause I can't get you out of my dreams
And no melody can seem to soothe my mind Now I curse you for being So sweet and so kind"
--Tattooed On My Mind
"But it's not so bad You're only the best I ever had You don't need me back You're just the best I ever had And it may take some time to Patch me up inside But I can't take it so I Run away and hide And I may find in time that You were always right You're always right
But it's not so bad You're only the best I ever had I don't want you back You're just the best I ever had The best I ever had"--Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)
"I find it hard to believe That all the pain that we are feeling Has some meaning in this world
It’s so hard to believe When everything you see is different From the things that you’ve been told I wanted life to be this way Just a little bit of love could mean so much Oh please don’t take it all away But with you heaven is still close enough to touch
It’s so hard to believe When someone told me that your suffering Is what you get for living
Because your love is still the only thing That matters in this world The only thing I can believe"--Hard To Believe
"mapapatawad mo ba ako kung hindi ko sinunod ang gusto mo
pinilit kong iahon kangunit ayaw mo namang sumama
huwag mong hayaang ganitobigyan ang sarili ng respeto"--Para sa Masa
"Akin ka na lang (akin ka na lang) Iingatan ko ang puso mo Akin ka na lang (akin ka na lang)Wala nang hihigit pa sa ‘yo"--Akin Ka Na Lang
For my dearest friend,Ele, this is what I want to tell to you:
"Huwag kang matakot ‘Di mo ba alam nandito lang ako Sa iyong tabi Di kita pababayaan kailanman At kung ikaw ay mahulog sa bangin Ay sasaluhin kita
Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa Kasama mo naman ako Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha Kasama mo naman ako Huwag kang matakot"--Huwag Kang Matakot
"From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, boy
My heart said follow through
But I know now that I'm way down on your line
But the waiting feeling's fine
don't wanna wait in vain for your love
'Cause summer is here - and I'm still waiting there
Winter is here - and I'm still waiting there
Like I said -It's been three years since I'm knocking on your door
And still I can knock some more
is it crazy look, I wanna know now For I to knock some more
You see
In life I know that there is lots of grief
But your love is my relief
Tears in my eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn
While I'm waitin'
While I'm waitin' for my turn"
--Waiting in Vain
"Loving Someone Losing Myself Only Got Me to Blame"--Fallin
"Oh, you probably won't remember me It's probably ancient history I'm one of the chosen few Who went ahead and fell for you I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch I fell too fast, I feel too much I thought that you might have some advice to give,How to be insensitive"--Insensitive
"Maybe you soon Forget about allOr maybe you'll miss it like I do But one thing's for sure I'm all knocked out I spend too much time thinking of you And I can't get you out of my dreams Now I know you're the dangerous kind And your smile is tattooed on my mind 'Cause I can't get you out of my dreams
And no melody can seem to soothe my mind Now I curse you for being So sweet and so kind"
--Tattooed On My Mind
"But it's not so bad You're only the best I ever had You don't need me back You're just the best I ever had And it may take some time to Patch me up inside But I can't take it so I Run away and hide And I may find in time that You were always right You're always right
But it's not so bad You're only the best I ever had I don't want you back You're just the best I ever had The best I ever had"--Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)
"I find it hard to believe That all the pain that we are feeling Has some meaning in this world
It’s so hard to believe When everything you see is different From the things that you’ve been told I wanted life to be this way Just a little bit of love could mean so much Oh please don’t take it all away But with you heaven is still close enough to touch
It’s so hard to believe When someone told me that your suffering Is what you get for living
Because your love is still the only thing That matters in this world The only thing I can believe"--Hard To Believe
"mapapatawad mo ba ako kung hindi ko sinunod ang gusto mo
pinilit kong iahon kangunit ayaw mo namang sumama
huwag mong hayaang ganitobigyan ang sarili ng respeto"--Para sa Masa
"Akin ka na lang (akin ka na lang) Iingatan ko ang puso mo Akin ka na lang (akin ka na lang)Wala nang hihigit pa sa ‘yo"--Akin Ka Na Lang
For my dearest friend,Ele, this is what I want to tell to you:
"Huwag kang matakot ‘Di mo ba alam nandito lang ako Sa iyong tabi Di kita pababayaan kailanman At kung ikaw ay mahulog sa bangin Ay sasaluhin kita
Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa Kasama mo naman ako Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha Kasama mo naman ako Huwag kang matakot"--Huwag Kang Matakot
Monday, January 23, 2006
Of News and Radio
Manny Pacquiao won over Eric Morales.
Yup that was so last sunday. But here in the Philippines, this news will last around a week or two. Not that I'm so against the Pacman, I am really happy when he won but you know reporting it repeatedly in the news made me a bit weary about it. I'm so pissed off watching the news last night. A one hour news program that dedicates its 45 minutes to Manny Pacquiao. The thing is its ok if their documentaries about the Pacman are relevant,unique and informative but no, most of the segments were just a different version of the other. Some segments are mere nonsense, like for example, why would you interview a retired boxer who defeated Manny Pacquiao when he was just starting? I mean all I got from the news is that this boxer is proud of Manny. They all said that here in the Philippines the world stopped turning but did it really stopped or our ever dedicated media just focused their stories to the Pacman. Actually, there is a little bit knowledge that another Filipino boxer won that night/day.
~~~
I'm starting to notice that some shuttle have this radio system. Although it makes me wonder if how they use the system or for what purpose. Especially, if you hear these things:
"Ano ba meron sa tapsilog?"--driver
"may pipino tas yun tapsilog"--girl on radio
"O sige order ako"--driver
"Bungo, tanong ko lang kung order ka ng tapsilog"--girl on radio
"Bunso kumain ka na ba?"--another voice sa radio
~~~
I have an upcoming exam at 2pm.. i really should be studying.
I also have plan of moving to tabulas, that is if I manage to fix the template in tabulas. I hope blogger would add more features to their blog so that there is no need for me to move to tabulas.
Yup that was so last sunday. But here in the Philippines, this news will last around a week or two. Not that I'm so against the Pacman, I am really happy when he won but you know reporting it repeatedly in the news made me a bit weary about it. I'm so pissed off watching the news last night. A one hour news program that dedicates its 45 minutes to Manny Pacquiao. The thing is its ok if their documentaries about the Pacman are relevant,unique and informative but no, most of the segments were just a different version of the other. Some segments are mere nonsense, like for example, why would you interview a retired boxer who defeated Manny Pacquiao when he was just starting? I mean all I got from the news is that this boxer is proud of Manny. They all said that here in the Philippines the world stopped turning but did it really stopped or our ever dedicated media just focused their stories to the Pacman. Actually, there is a little bit knowledge that another Filipino boxer won that night/day.
~~~
I'm starting to notice that some shuttle have this radio system. Although it makes me wonder if how they use the system or for what purpose. Especially, if you hear these things:
"Ano ba meron sa tapsilog?"--driver
"may pipino tas yun tapsilog"--girl on radio
"O sige order ako"--driver
"Bungo, tanong ko lang kung order ka ng tapsilog"--girl on radio
"Bunso kumain ka na ba?"--another voice sa radio
~~~
I have an upcoming exam at 2pm.. i really should be studying.
I also have plan of moving to tabulas, that is if I manage to fix the template in tabulas. I hope blogger would add more features to their blog so that there is no need for me to move to tabulas.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Soul Searching
Have you ever feel that you are no longer connected to the "world" where you thought you belong?
There are times when things aren't going your way and circumstances are pulling you down. These are the times when you reflect about your "world".
I used to think that I have a lot of friends. Friends that I thought would pull me up when everything is pulling me down. While scrolling through the address book of my phone, I only got few, then I realized that these persons are my chosen few to stay in my life. Then this feeling suddenly struck me. Most of these chosen few are not connected to me anymore. I don't know what happened but most of them just disappear like bubbles that burst in the wind. Then I wonder, is it me? Am I not a good friend? Or I just choose the wrong people? Either ways both involve change. Time is changing so people do. Sometimes it is just difficult to accept the cold hard facts that even the things you're holding on so firmly are bound to be gone.
Sometimes life can be so unfair. Ang hirap lang kasing intindihin na while nagpapakahirap akong magtrabaho makikita ko yung parents ko na kinukunsinti yung isa kong kapatid na di magtrabaho, wow they even suggested na magbakasyon sya. May times pa na I'm always complaining about my eyeglasses kasi di na sya fit for me, wala lang sa kanila as in kebs pero nung yung kapatid ko yung nagsabi sa kanila, di natapos ang isang araw napagawan na sya ng eyeglasses. Tas nung time na may sakit ako, no one from them asked me if I'm ok or kung anong masakit sa katawan ko samantalang yung kapatid ko konting daing lang sa kanila mega concern na sila. Siguro I'm jealous or whatsoever pero it is so hard to understand. Ang hirap. Then there was also an incident last saturday na minsan na lang akong uuwi sa house ang ipapakain pa sa aking ulam is yung mga ulam na di ko gusto. Parang alam naman nila na hindi ako kumakain ng ganun klaseng isda since hindi talaga ako generally mahilig sa isda at sa gulay. Parang nung lunch nagtyaga na ako sa gulay but nung gabi hindi ko na kaya hindi ko na naman gusto yung ulam. Alam mo yun kailan ko pang magdabog gumawa ng eksena para marealize lang nila na di ako kumakain ng ganung ulam. Parang waw buti pa yung aso alam nila kung ano yung gusto at ayaw. The thing is nagbibigay ako ng pera, not that nanunumbat ako, pero di ba one of the reason kaya ako nagwowork para makakain ng mga pagkain na gusto ko.Hindi bale sana kung di ako nagwowork at wala akong karapatan na magreklamo. Yun na nga to think youngest ako pero ano, ako lang yung nagwowork tas I don't feel appreciated by my own family.
Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon, we often run to our friends, but the thing is narealize ko wala na rin akong matakbuhan dahil kahit ako, i feel so unconnected sa kanila.
Don't get me wrong may nalapitan akong isa. But the thing is while scrolling my cellphone while di pa nagrereply yung friend ko na sinabihan ko I felt like a stranger while scrolling names of people that I called "friends".
Now I really feel the urge to detach. To detach from my blurry "world"
There are times when things aren't going your way and circumstances are pulling you down. These are the times when you reflect about your "world".
I used to think that I have a lot of friends. Friends that I thought would pull me up when everything is pulling me down. While scrolling through the address book of my phone, I only got few, then I realized that these persons are my chosen few to stay in my life. Then this feeling suddenly struck me. Most of these chosen few are not connected to me anymore. I don't know what happened but most of them just disappear like bubbles that burst in the wind. Then I wonder, is it me? Am I not a good friend? Or I just choose the wrong people? Either ways both involve change. Time is changing so people do. Sometimes it is just difficult to accept the cold hard facts that even the things you're holding on so firmly are bound to be gone.
Sometimes life can be so unfair. Ang hirap lang kasing intindihin na while nagpapakahirap akong magtrabaho makikita ko yung parents ko na kinukunsinti yung isa kong kapatid na di magtrabaho, wow they even suggested na magbakasyon sya. May times pa na I'm always complaining about my eyeglasses kasi di na sya fit for me, wala lang sa kanila as in kebs pero nung yung kapatid ko yung nagsabi sa kanila, di natapos ang isang araw napagawan na sya ng eyeglasses. Tas nung time na may sakit ako, no one from them asked me if I'm ok or kung anong masakit sa katawan ko samantalang yung kapatid ko konting daing lang sa kanila mega concern na sila. Siguro I'm jealous or whatsoever pero it is so hard to understand. Ang hirap. Then there was also an incident last saturday na minsan na lang akong uuwi sa house ang ipapakain pa sa aking ulam is yung mga ulam na di ko gusto. Parang alam naman nila na hindi ako kumakain ng ganun klaseng isda since hindi talaga ako generally mahilig sa isda at sa gulay. Parang nung lunch nagtyaga na ako sa gulay but nung gabi hindi ko na kaya hindi ko na naman gusto yung ulam. Alam mo yun kailan ko pang magdabog gumawa ng eksena para marealize lang nila na di ako kumakain ng ganung ulam. Parang waw buti pa yung aso alam nila kung ano yung gusto at ayaw. The thing is nagbibigay ako ng pera, not that nanunumbat ako, pero di ba one of the reason kaya ako nagwowork para makakain ng mga pagkain na gusto ko.Hindi bale sana kung di ako nagwowork at wala akong karapatan na magreklamo. Yun na nga to think youngest ako pero ano, ako lang yung nagwowork tas I don't feel appreciated by my own family.
Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon, we often run to our friends, but the thing is narealize ko wala na rin akong matakbuhan dahil kahit ako, i feel so unconnected sa kanila.
Don't get me wrong may nalapitan akong isa. But the thing is while scrolling my cellphone while di pa nagrereply yung friend ko na sinabihan ko I felt like a stranger while scrolling names of people that I called "friends".
Now I really feel the urge to detach. To detach from my blurry "world"
Back
After almost a year, I'm back at blogspot.
But I can't say this will be permanent though.
I have something to post actually, but I'll reserve it for some other day. Ang pangit naman kung ang first post ko uli rito is about rants.
Yun muna. Ciao.
But I can't say this will be permanent though.
I have something to post actually, but I'll reserve it for some other day. Ang pangit naman kung ang first post ko uli rito is about rants.
Yun muna. Ciao.
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