I told myself that I wouldn't blog this if I'm still in the dark, but now since everything is starting to fit into place I think I can write about this now.
Never in my wildest dream that I will be living in Canada. I can't count the times that I have said that I don't want to go to Canada and I will stay at the Philippines for the rest of my life. I made that choice once and I sticked to my choice...for a while. Maybe there were really times that you don't have any choice and you just let yourself be taken into the flow of events that is happening. Thus I am here in Canada, not by choice maybe destiny.
I believed that everything happen for a reason. Yet it is finding the reason and understanding the reason is the most difficult thing to do. The day that I left, I still have the strong feeling to go back. I'm on Hongkong airport, I still want to go back and I told myself if I don't go back right now there is no turning back. Vancouver airport, I just want to get there, I'm tired I just want to get there.
My first night here, I cried til i fell asleep. I really don't want to be here. The following days seemed to be endless. I didn't want to get out of the house, not because it was so cold, its just I'm really not interested. I was still attached to the things that I left behind. Thinking what if I didn't leave at all? Would I be happier if I stay there? All of my friends were there, how can I adjust here?
Weeks passed and I was starting to feel the pressure that I need to find a job. My brother gave me brochures of different agencies that offer Employment Assistance for Immigrants. I didn't give a damn about the brochures thinking I can find a job here that I want without any help from that. I have good credentials so it would be easy for me. So I thought.
I searched the internet for jobs. Nothing fits my preference. There is no such job in the internet that suited me. I was told not to expect that I will get the same job that I used to have in the Philippines. Realizations started to fill my mind. I shouldn't went here. Back home, I have a good job, I know some of you might disagree, but really I used to have a good job. The compensation is relatively okay, the enviroment is somehow fun, the perks are superb and actually, I was really enjoying what I'm doing. Now I need to be in this job that I think I really don't like. Yet I have no choice. I sent out resumes and wait for phone calls or any forms of correspondence.
Weeks passed and I received no phone calls, no email and no anything. I started to be depressed. I used to have credentials that employers in the Philippines will surely take notice of. Suddenly, graduating in the University of the Philippines means nothing. No plus point ,no advantage at all. I am now officially included on the commoners. I started to lose hope. Every minutes that passed seemed like death for me. I don't like here. I do not belong here. I want to go back home. I started to think that I'll get any job and I'll raise enough money for me to go home and work there. My only escape is the internet. I can connect with my former life through internet, I can talk with my friends and yet I don't want them to know that I'm not happy here. Hence, I made an illusion that I'm ok. Only kulet knows that I'm not that happy. Then I get tired of it. I know that it will only frustrate me if I continued talking with them. I need to start my life here but the question is how.
Then my father presented again the brochure to me. Insisting that I should call them. Just to give him peace of mind. I called EPW and SUCCESS. What the heck, I need to get over with it and I really need job, badly. I set up an appointment. First I went to EPW. The counselor gave me pointers but she'll send me somewhere else, rejection I thought. She said that I should try Employment Solutions for Immigrant Youth, 10 weeks training with pay, spark of hope. The following day i went to ES and filled up an application form, I was told to come on wednesday for the orientation. They were not sure if I will be included in the April 16 bacth or to the July batch.
Wednesday came and I went to the orientation. At the orientation, the eagerness of me being accepted and be included in april batch to started to go strong. I thought they will announce the batches on the same day but they will just call us on thursday or friday for us to know when will be starting. I prayed that I will be included in the april bacth. I waited for the call, hoping, I just can't take another rejection anymore.
Thursday, I received a call and then the good news...
I know I'm still in the dark right now but I also know that my dark days is about to end. I can see clearly now and I can see all obstacles that are in my way.
I suddenly remember my quote on my college yearbook:"You don't need to be great to start but you need to start somewhere to be great"
Brighter days are coming ahead...
Never in my wildest dream that I will be living in Canada. I can't count the times that I have said that I don't want to go to Canada and I will stay at the Philippines for the rest of my life. I made that choice once and I sticked to my choice...for a while. Maybe there were really times that you don't have any choice and you just let yourself be taken into the flow of events that is happening. Thus I am here in Canada, not by choice maybe destiny.
I believed that everything happen for a reason. Yet it is finding the reason and understanding the reason is the most difficult thing to do. The day that I left, I still have the strong feeling to go back. I'm on Hongkong airport, I still want to go back and I told myself if I don't go back right now there is no turning back. Vancouver airport, I just want to get there, I'm tired I just want to get there.
My first night here, I cried til i fell asleep. I really don't want to be here. The following days seemed to be endless. I didn't want to get out of the house, not because it was so cold, its just I'm really not interested. I was still attached to the things that I left behind. Thinking what if I didn't leave at all? Would I be happier if I stay there? All of my friends were there, how can I adjust here?
Weeks passed and I was starting to feel the pressure that I need to find a job. My brother gave me brochures of different agencies that offer Employment Assistance for Immigrants. I didn't give a damn about the brochures thinking I can find a job here that I want without any help from that. I have good credentials so it would be easy for me. So I thought.
I searched the internet for jobs. Nothing fits my preference. There is no such job in the internet that suited me. I was told not to expect that I will get the same job that I used to have in the Philippines. Realizations started to fill my mind. I shouldn't went here. Back home, I have a good job, I know some of you might disagree, but really I used to have a good job. The compensation is relatively okay, the enviroment is somehow fun, the perks are superb and actually, I was really enjoying what I'm doing. Now I need to be in this job that I think I really don't like. Yet I have no choice. I sent out resumes and wait for phone calls or any forms of correspondence.
Weeks passed and I received no phone calls, no email and no anything. I started to be depressed. I used to have credentials that employers in the Philippines will surely take notice of. Suddenly, graduating in the University of the Philippines means nothing. No plus point ,no advantage at all. I am now officially included on the commoners. I started to lose hope. Every minutes that passed seemed like death for me. I don't like here. I do not belong here. I want to go back home. I started to think that I'll get any job and I'll raise enough money for me to go home and work there. My only escape is the internet. I can connect with my former life through internet, I can talk with my friends and yet I don't want them to know that I'm not happy here. Hence, I made an illusion that I'm ok. Only kulet knows that I'm not that happy. Then I get tired of it. I know that it will only frustrate me if I continued talking with them. I need to start my life here but the question is how.
Then my father presented again the brochure to me. Insisting that I should call them. Just to give him peace of mind. I called EPW and SUCCESS. What the heck, I need to get over with it and I really need job, badly. I set up an appointment. First I went to EPW. The counselor gave me pointers but she'll send me somewhere else, rejection I thought. She said that I should try Employment Solutions for Immigrant Youth, 10 weeks training with pay, spark of hope. The following day i went to ES and filled up an application form, I was told to come on wednesday for the orientation. They were not sure if I will be included in the April 16 bacth or to the July batch.
Wednesday came and I went to the orientation. At the orientation, the eagerness of me being accepted and be included in april batch to started to go strong. I thought they will announce the batches on the same day but they will just call us on thursday or friday for us to know when will be starting. I prayed that I will be included in the april bacth. I waited for the call, hoping, I just can't take another rejection anymore.
Thursday, I received a call and then the good news...
I know I'm still in the dark right now but I also know that my dark days is about to end. I can see clearly now and I can see all obstacles that are in my way.
I suddenly remember my quote on my college yearbook:"You don't need to be great to start but you need to start somewhere to be great"
Brighter days are coming ahead...
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