Must Get Out (Breakdown # 3)

What will you do if you make the greatest katangahan in your work?

First, magpanic then think positive then iconfirm ang katangahan and then pumunta sa isang senior for help and then magbreakdown.

Kamusta naman di ba umiyak ako sa harap ni Ms. Liza at sa mga newbies sa office.

Sino ba namang hindi, stressed ka na nga tas nakagawa ka pa ng malaking katangahan.

Grabe exag ang work load ko ngayon. Well, ngayon na lang naman uli ako inabot ng ganitong oras sa office kasi lagi na akong sumasabay kay Ji so hindi na ako nag-ot ng exag.

Lumabas na rin ako sa comfort ng conference room namin, may sarili na akong desk and place pero katulad ng dati,temporary lang ito kasi hindi naman talaga dito yung floor namin.

Bukas ko malalaman ang results ng katangahan ko sigh...Pero thankful talaga ako kay Ms. Liza...

Hay feeling ko hindi na talaga ako tatagal dito... Kakaiba talaga ang kinalalagyan ko ngayon...

Btw, real time ang makikita nyong time ng post kong ito...

MUST GET OUT

I’ve been the needle and the thread
Weaving figure eights and circles round your head
I try to laugh but cry instead

Patiently wait to hear the words you’ve never said
Fumbling through your dresser drawer forgot what I was looking for
Try to guide me in the right direction
Making use of all this time
Keeping everything inside
Close my eyes and listen to you crying

I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing til dawn
I'm fooling around
I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city's made us crazy and we must get out

This not goodbye she said
It is just time for me to rest my head
She does not walk she runs instead
Down these jagged streets and into my bed

Fumbling through your dresser drawer forgot what I was looking for
Try to guide me in the right direction
Making use of all this time
Keeping everything inside
Close my eyes and listen to you crying

I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing til dawn .
I'm fooling around
I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city’s made us crazy and we must get out

There’s only so much I can do for you
After all of the things you put me through

Its Getting Into My Nerves

Its quite sometime when my PC started to get into my nerves.

First, the stupid monitor. Hay naku, forever na lang, laging lumalabo to the point na wala na akong makita. Sumasakit na nga ang kamay ko kakapukpok. Minsan no effect pa rin.

Then, habang tumatagal, patagal na rin ng patagal ang pagboboot ng PC ko. Umaabot na sya ng 30 minutes ngayon peste talaga.

Tapos biglang naghahalt ang system for some strange reason. Shiet.

Tas lecheng ISP yan for some strange reason, super bagal pag sobrang kailangan mo. As in hindi ko maka-access sa net dahil lang sa kabagalan nila. Lech. Tas there are times na di ka makaconnect. Goodluck naman.

So ano ang mga naging consequences ngayon? NagTV plan ako ng mano-mano. As in Mano-mano. Tipong pen and paper. Kamusta naman. Tas hindi ko pa masave yung special edition pics na shinare sa akin ni Honeypie. Langhiya talaga.

Wala naman akong magawa. Una, kasi ayaw ng papalitan nung ate ko since pupunta na kami sa Canada so sayang naman. Tas syempre kasama yung wa akong enough moolah pampalit kasi may iba akong pinag-iipunan. Tas no choice na rin naman ako sa mga isp kasi syempre nasa probinsya so sobrang limited lang talaga ng choices.

Infairness naman sa PC ko, ang tagal na nito sa amin. Third year highschool pa lang ako nung binili namin ito , seven years na rin ito. Yung modification lang na ginawa dito interms of hardware eh yung hard drive lang. Pero intact pa rin yung CPU. Siguro nga lang, medyo hindi na talaga kayang sabayan ng PC ko ang mga bagong technology ngayon.

Pero hassle pa rin. Tsk.

Keep On Moving (A Season Ender)

Ahh... September na next week... Time flies so fast that we hardly noticed that the Ber season is about to begin. So I decided to write a season ender entry. To welcome the Ber season and the new season in my Starcom Saga.

Yup, we are all living in our own series/soap opera. We have our own shares of Smallville, One Tree Hill, The OC, and even Dawson's Creek. Usually, one season of these series last for at least three months. In real life, we are the one who dictates when will the new season start and end in our own drama series. The difference, no scripts, no directors and yes no dating the whole community before ending to the right one for us, if there is any.

As for me, in my part of life called the Starcom Saga, which run for almost 3 months, Season 1 has just ended. On monday, a new season will start. Why did I say that? Because on Monday, there will be a lot of changes that will happen. Alam na namin lahat yun, the cliff hanger baga from the last season.

Before the new season, let us have my season 1 of Starcom Saga in review...

On May 25, it the first time I entered Starcom for my exam and interview. Fortunately, I was hired on the same day.

June 1, the official start of my Starcom Saga. First day was actually good. Everyone is nice and yes, on the first day I have attended the first event in my new career...Media.

The first few weeks was actually fun. I enjoyed the work, the atmosphere and the people. I was so happy that at last I think I found the career and job that suits me. The work load was light and I was actually enjoying what I'm doing. The team is great, what more could I ask?

Then came CTARP...overtimes and overnights begun. More work started coming. More deadlines..more pressures and more harrassments. The antagonists started to appear one by one. The team that I'm comfortable working with will be split into two, most of my friends ended up in the other group. It came to the point that I really want to give up.

Like in the series on TV, I've introduced new characters in my life, these are my team mates:
Nice - my closest friend sa office. Kadaldalan and all, my first seatmate who eventually transferred outside the conference room together with...
Kay - the ever hindi ako stressed and ms. always on time umuwi. The music provider of the group who is the first one to resign. But she experienced overnight due to work few weeks before her last day.
Jae - the little iyakin girl
Ms Fats and Ms Liza - the "lolas" in the group. Usually, the comic relief provider of the group inside the conference room.
Arlene - The guru and the teacher of the newbies. Sadly, she will be moving on the 25th floor together with Jae, Ms. Fats and Nice.
Ji - the newest so far sa group. My tag team partner who started to give sign of resigning...

There are also those who have an appearance before in my life who returned in this chapter of my life like:
Statsocers: Cham,who is my labasan of sama ng loob lately, Jay and Boots.

I also have shares of kilig with new characters such as Kulet and Class A.

There are also those who are present continuously in my life like family, friends, S^2 and Berks. Actually, in the last season, the berks started to have get together again some sort of re-uniting the barkada again.

And yes, I also have my share of kontrabida. I won't name them na lang. Its not worth it. And yes, I'll be working more closely to my antagonists

So after the season break (aka office shutdown), Season 2 of Starcom Saga will begin.

Here is what to expect:

-Nice, Jae,Ms. Fats and Arlene will no longer be seen at 26th floor.
-Ji as my tag team partner
-New team mates
-More conflicts especially the org structure is finalized
-More of me breaking down

There is no use of dwelling on what happened and what will happen because we'll just keep on moving on anyway. Bring it on!;P

KEEP ON MOVING
By: Five
I woke up today with this feeling.
Better things are coming my way.
I know the sunshine has a meaning,
And nothing left can get in my way

When the rainy days are dying,
Gotta keep on, keep on trying
All the bees and birds are flying
Ahhhh...

Never let go, gotta hold on and
Nonstop 'til the break of dawn and
Keep on moving, don't stop rocking
Ahhhh...

Get on up
When you're down, baby,
Take a good look around.
I know it's not much,
But it's okay.
Keep on movin' on anyway

Feels like I have should be screaming,
Trying get through to my friends.
Sometimes it feels that life has no meaning,
But all things will be alright in the end.

When the rainy days are dying,
Gotta keep on, keep on trying
All the bees and birds are flying
Ahhhh...

Never let go, gotta hold on and
Non-stop 'til the break of dawn and
Keep on moving, don't stop rocking
Ahhhh...

Get on up
When you're down, baby,
Take a good look around.
I know it's not much,
But it's okay.
Keep on movin' on anyway

When the rainy days are dying,
Gotta keep on, keep on trying
All the bees and birds are flying
Ahhhh...

Never let go, gotta hold on and
Nonstop 'til the break of dawn and
Keep on moving, don't stop rocking
Ahhhh...

Get on up
When you're down, baby,
Take a good look around.
I know it's not much,
But it's okay.
Keep on movin' on anyway

Get on up
When you're down, baby,
Take a good look around.
I know it's not much,
But it's okay.
Keep on movin' on anyway

Get on up
Keep on movin' Keep on movin'
Keep on movin' Keep on movin'
I know it's not much
Keep on movin' Keep on movin'
Keep on movin' Keep on movin'
Get on up
Keep on movin' Keep on movin'

Accomplishments and Indulgences

After the super harrassed two days at work finally, some break from work!=)

Since may office shutdown(as they called it) wala kaming pasok for two straight days starting today 'til tomorrow and since weekend na rin naman after tomorrow eh di masaya, long weekend. Hehehe.

Although before naman ang kasayahang ito eh katakot-takot naman na stress ang nangyari sa akin. Paaano ba naman ang daming nag turn over ng work sa akin as in hindi ko alam kung ano ang uunahin ko at kung matatapos ko ba sya since magpupuntahan sa Bangkok ang mga bosses para sa training. Luckily, nagawa ko naman lahat kahit may muntik ng pumalya (Whew!) Thanks to my ever reliable officemates!=)

So today, nakakatuwa marami akong accomplishments (hmm not marami pero I'm happy sa mga nagawa ko) Inasikaso ko kasi ang mga papers ko na pinapaasikaso sa akin ng aking ama. Una, nakapagpa-id na ako for SSS then naclaim ko na ang TOR ko and lastly nafile ko na for translation ang diploma ko na makukuha ko next week. Ang saya di ba? hehehe.

Syempre pinamper ko naman ang sarili ko kahit paano, i have my hair cut with matching shave ng bigote at balbas at may bonus pang masahe pero inabot naman ako ng 90 pesos. Hehehe. Not bad na rin di ba? Magaling namang magmasahe si Manong Barbero kaya na-relax din ako. Then after kong magpa-ID for SSS, nag grocery naman ako sa Galeria and kumain ako sa Pancake House, yummy! Tas nabili ko rin ang latest issue ng fave mag ko!=)

So far ngayon, nandito ako sa office ni Ma'am Becca, since wala akong choice hehehe at nagbblog ako. So after this magdidinner kami(kunwari diet dinner daw!) and uuwi na ako sa Pampanga to have some peaceful rest!=)

Btw, naka-Blogger beta na ako, so baka lagyan ko na ng permission ito so baka hindi na lahat makabasa ng blog ko.=)

Oink!

Yipeee..Its Monday and its a holiday.

Syempre wala akong ginawa ngayon kung hindi magpaka-buhay baboy. As in kain tulog lang ako. Well...I must say I really needed the sleep dahil sobrang deprived ako nyan last week. Tas ang sarap pang matulog kasi tuloy tuloy lang ang ulan, malamig kaya masarap ding kumain ng kumain. Hehehe.

~~~

I've watched The Great Raid kanina sa cable. Hmmm... medyo dragging ang movie. Actually ang alam ko hindi sa Pilipinas shinoot yung movie, marami rin namang palang Filipino dun sa movie. I'm quite surprised ng makita ko sina Paolo Montalban and Ryan Eigenmann sa movie. Si Cesar Montano lang kasi yung well publicized na Pinoy na kasama sa movie. Weird nga lang na manood ng American movie na makakarinig ka ng mga salitang tagalog. Actually, hindi sya yung movie na Pinoy should watch. I mean yeah, andun si Cesar Montano pero around 1/3 lang ng movie lang sya nandun. Parang sa Philippines lang ang settings kaya ganun. Nothing remarkable about the movie.

~~~

For those who watched Mad TV, I'm wondering if you catch an episode in their 10th season where they have sketch where there is a character named Kim Chee. An asian portrayed the role. Actually, I think, he is of Japanese decent. I was surprised that in the sketch, Kim Chee is an undocumented Filipino aka TNT and he speak a weird language na you know implied na Filipino. Actually, I don't know what to feel after watching the sketch. I mean, I don't know if I'll feel proud or insulted...sigh.

~~~

I might stay at blogspot muna. Hindi ako masyadong naeencourage na magpost sa LJ account ko eh.

~~~

Back to work na tomorrow... sigh.

Omer-ize and Another Breakdown

Last monday, I've watched the premiere of American Dreamz, all I can say, the movie is very funny and well mataba si Mandy Moore sa movie. In fairness to her cute ang acting nya sa American Dreamz and may pagka-bitchy ang role nya. Nakakatuwa rin si Omer and his family. Di ko alam ang real name ni Omer, Sam something, pero ang galing nya.Hehehe. I have been OMER-ize hehehe. Some spoiler: Hugh Grant and William Dafoe died in the end.

Two work days week ahead. Yey.. but I don't know, I'm not happy anymore. Yesterday, I came at the office to do work and before the day end, I, again, breakdown. Ayoko na, ayoko na talaga sa industry na pinasukan ko. Sobrang harassed na ako, sobrang dami ng work, sobrang taas ng expectations, and I never felt so down before.

Dahil sa kinalalagyan ko ngayon, I no longer have my self esteem and my self confidence....

Hindi ko na kaya.

Syempre being the helpless me..wala na akong nagawa kung hindi umiyak na lang uli...

Some Blabbers

Here is my horoscope yesterday from Friendster:

The Bottom Line
You've reached the end of a phase of your journey. Much of your struggling is over.

In Detail
You've reached the end of one phase of your journey today, and a lot of your struggling is over. It looks like things will be getting a lot easier and your time will be freeing up a bit -- you'll have a lot more time to play with. Perhaps you should investigate a hobby or topic that's always intrigued you, or get back into the groove with a hobby you had to cut back on. Time is something you're valuing more than ever right now -- and it looks like you're rolling in the riches!

-->Hmm interesting. I hope totoo nga itong horoscope na ito.

~~~

Its quite ironic that after seeing the picture of my bestfriend in elementary, I, suddenlyhave a crush on this person. Yikes. Eh hindi naman sya yung tipong crushable dati pero nung nakita ko pic nya. OMG hehehe. Oh well let's wait and see till makita ko sya in person. hehehe.

~~~

Hayness...monday na naman tomorrow...sigh. Can't wait for the long weekend next week! =P

~~~

Ele! Malapit na sweldo mo yung promise mo!!

100% Jologs

Yikeeee! Gusto kong panoorin ang You are the One!!!! Not that I'm a fan of Sam and Toni, parang ang cute kasi ng story eh. Hehehehe.

Gusto ko ring panoorin ang Eternity nina Dingdong Dantes and Iza Calzado! Wala lang kasi maganda yung Moments of Love nila so I'm thinking maganda rin ito! (Haller Cess!)

Yuck I'm a sucker for love movies again!

Kanina, I'm in the verge of tears again while watching Tanging Ina on cable. Wala lang Everytime na pinapanood ko ito laging ganoon. Kasi maaappreciate mo kasi yung mother mo while watching the movie kahit comedy ang pagkakadeliver nito. My favorite scene is yung binubugbog ni Nikki Valdez si Heart! Wakekeke!

Gusto kong bumili ng album ni Jolina! Hehehe! Gusto ko kasi yung mga kanta nya lately eh! Wahehehe.

Walang pakealamanan ok?? ;P

Flanna Banana

If you are a regular of Tapa King, you would probably know Flanna Banana.

In a stressful friday noon, I, Nice and Ji met Flanna Banana through Ms. Liza. We were not expecting what we saw. The only thing that we can utter when Flanna Banana came...

"Ang laki naman nyan at ang dami!"

Flanna Banana is actually one of the superb dessert in Tapa King. It is actually Saging con Yelo with Leche Flan. Mukha lang syang marami pero malaki lang yung lalagyan nya. Infairness, generous naman yung amount ng leche flan na nakalagay and masarap talaga sya. Although, medyo may kamahalan sya kasi 60 pesos ang isang serving ng Flanna Banana.

Probably, Flanna Banana is one of the few things na nagpakalma sa akin last friday. As usual, mega ngarag na naman ako. Actually, every friday naman ganun ang eksena sa office. Friday is ngaragan day for our team pero aside from that me iba kasing issue kaya sobrang iba yung pagka-stress ko nung friday. Knowing me, I can make impulsive decisions without actually thinking of the consequences of my decisions. I'm the type of basta ang alam ko yun ang tamang gawin sa mga oras na ito. Ilang beses na ba akong napahamak with my being impulsive.

Buti na lang this time, I'm starting to learn to control my emtions. Thankful din ako kasi Arlene and Ms. Liza gave me a little advice. Come to think of it, Ms. Liza really enligtened me with her words of wisdom. Until now, it keeps on echoing in my ears:"Ganito talaga sa business na ito...Dapat tibayan mo lang loob mo"

Yup, yun lang talaga ang dapat kong gawin..Tibayan ang loob and more Flanna Banana!!! Hehehe.

*sana hindi mabasa ni Bebs ito hehehe.

Happiness is How You Define It

Fact: Being happy doesn't mean everything is ok.

Despite of the stress due to work, despite of the problems that I'm encountering and despite of being single, I know and I can tell that I'm happy and I can always find time to do things that can make me happy.

The past few days proved me that eventhough I'm in a web of problems and stress and as if everything goes wrong, there were simple things in life that made me happy. Even after a very harrassing day, I can still smile and be happy.

Finding that you have still money in your atm when you thought that you were so broke, the monthly ration of free magazines has finally arrived, free lunch, free ice cream, dinner with friends, sweldo are some of the example of simple things that made me happy these past few days.

Like for example, last wednesday, even though I was experiencing great pain on my foot, I was happy because I had dinner with berks. The dinner was really fun or I just really enjoy small crowd.

These past two days, in spite of being stressed out at work to the point of me considering to quit I still have reasons to be happy; a simple text from a special someone, a wonderful news from Ele, tag message from Meann, words of encouragement and praises from officemates and the thought of weekend and staying home at Pampanga.

These simple things made me simply happy. That's how I define happiness right now.

Sometimes, You Can Never Really Tell

We are often took by surprise when a person that we thought we knew will do something that deviates from the image that we have on them.

Nagugulat na lang tayo minsan na mali pala ang pagkakakilala natin sa isang tao. Minsan nga kahit yung mga taong sobrang kilala natin, marerealize natin bigla na hindi pa pala natin sila lubos na kilala. These are the reason why I still find it hard to trust people. Although medyo contradicting din kasi when I feel that I'm comfortable with a person, nagtitiwala agad ako.

Minsan, we associate agad a person to a certain image kahit hindi pa natin sila lubos na kilala. Tipong kung ang personality na pinakikita sa atin ng isang tao ay mabait, we classified that person agad as mabait or the other way around.

Because of these things we are often taken by surprise if we saw their other side. Yung tipong they do things that are not expected to do. Magugulat ka pa rin kasi akala mo kilala mo na yung tao na yun. You can even share some experiences na magsusupport sa paniniwala mo. But then marerealize mo hindi pala ganun yun. Usually when people just tell you, yung other side ng tao na iyon, you will find it hard to believe, you"ll always say "Hindi ganun ang pagkakakilala ko sa kanya", maniniwala ka lang kung ikaw mismo ang makakakita or sobrang reliable nung person na pinagsabihan mo.

The hard part is you can never tell if you really know a person. Minsan kahit bestfriend mo hindi mo rin lubusang kilala. Parang you'll still keep a part of you na secret. Mahirap din kasi na ibigay mo ang lahat. Ikaw rin ang kawawa.

Often times, we always put our best foot forward. Also, other people do the same thing. Its really up to us to distinguish who are real and who are posers. On the other hand, don't judge someone easily until you know or you meet the person better.

Crash and Burn

The "Alcoholic" and the "addict"

Last wednesday, Shiela and I watched Miami Vice at Glorietta. Actually, si Meann ang original na kasama ko dito pero nag beg off sya the night before tas yung iba kong niyaya hindi rin availble. Buti na lang si Shiela game. Hehehe.

Ang funny kasi napasarap ang kwentuhan namin ni Shiela muntik na kaming malate sa screening ng Miami Vice. Tas nung nanonood kami tipong mega comment kami kung bakit naging no. 1 sya sa states. Hehehe. Tas hindi makapayag si Shiela nung sinabi ko na may naalala ako dun sa bidang Asian girl dun sa Miami. Hehehe.

Fun yung movie with Shiela although di nga lang kami satisfied pareho sa movie pero it was fun. Sayang nga lang at hindi natuloy yung coffee namin after (pero actually nagcoffee na ako before) kasi I need to go back sa office para tulungan yung officemate ko.

Pramis bawi ako next time Shiela!=)

It Ended with A Bang

During the movie Miami Vice, Ji asked me if I can help her in her TV plan na due the following day. Since natulungan din ako ni Ji dati dun sa CTARP, so pumayag ako. So ayun gawa kami ng TV plan at umabot kami till 2:30am. Kamusta naman diba? Overnight uli. So ayun, since may car naman yung bf ni Ji, sumabay na ako sa kanila hanggang shaw. We all thought na ok na uwian na at pahinga na pero hindi pa rin pa pala tapos ang gabi namin. While we were somewhere along edsa na malapit dun sa likuan going to Kalayaan-C5, bigla kaming nabangga. Yung Red Besta na Van nasa harap namin biglang huminto without warning actually di ko na rin alam yung nangyari. After the collision tipong lahat kami nasa state of shock kaya walang nakakuha ng plate number nung saksakyan at yung van, biglang humarurot ng takbo. Luckily, wala namang nasaktan sa amin.

So Much for GMA Event

At last my most awaited event came. The GMA event, I'm so prepared and all I don't even brought my ABSCBN bag for the said event. Then, to my dismay, hindi ako makaka-attend kasi I need to implement the TV plan na maraming pinapabago and nagkaroon pa ng problem sa BCC since hindi daw under dun sa client name yung isang division nila. Then people are harassing me na kailangan maimplement na yung plan. Then at around 5pm sinabihan na ako na pumunta na sa GMA parang hello 3-530 yung event so pagdating ko dun malamang wala na akong abutan. Nakakainis. The thing is wala rin akong naimplement that day.

S^2 Stands for Singles Society

Since hindi nga ako natuloy sa event and sobrang stress ako na kailangan kong maging masaya kaya I've called up Ele para magmeet kami. Tapos sinabi ni Ele na nandoon din si JD kasi dun sya nagttraining for Accenture. So ayun nagdinner kami sa Tokyo Tokyo sa mga Rob Pioneer. Sobrang biglaan lang din nung nangyari kaya hindi kasama si Meann. The whole dinner thing was moment ni Ele. Grabe sobrang namiss ko si Ele at syempre pati na rin si Jd. Sayang talaga wala si Meann.

Last Supper

Kahapon naman, biglang tumawag si Zel. Akala ko nga nung una supplier ang tuimatawag sa akin tas sobrang harassed pa sya. Bigla syang nagyaya na mag Yellow Cab kasi last day na nya sa office nya ngayon at sa Makati since ang bago nyang work ay sa Pasig na. Eh di go naman ako. tas ayun kasama sina Beng at Rona. Ang fun din ng dinner na ito. Lalo na nung mega inaaway ko si Beng kasi wahehehe. Beng bakit ka nag-San Mig Light diba babalik ka pa sa office?hehehe.

Tas nandun din sina Mello at Gabes. Tas nalaman ko rin na bf na pala ni Mello si Chuck! hehehe.

Pero the best talaga ang mga hirit ni Rona nung nagdidinner kami.

The best hirit:
Rona:"Si Pretz kasi ideal man ang tingin niya kay Wendell, kaya kung ano yung pagtingin ni pretz ganun din yung pagtingin ko sa kanya"
Beng, Zel and Me:UUUY Rona!

Sort of Bliss

Hahaha ang timing ng pagpalit ko ng title ng blog ko.

Well, sort of hindi naman harassing ang work kahapon. Yet, somehow nag-end naman ng masaya yung day ko kahit na medyo OT ako. Hehehe.

So why did I say na masaya nag-end ang day ko? Well, una, we have this kulitan moment with Kulet. Syempre non-stop na text jokes na usong-uso ngayon. Hehehe. I really love that moment.

Tas I got another ride with class A. Hehehe. Although ito medyo sinadya, nyahehehe. As in hinintay ko talaga syang umuwi kaya medyo OT ako ahahaha. Pero syempre may kailangan rin akong tapusin pero naghintay lang talaga rin ako. Wala lang. Hehehehe. Basta I really love the moment hehehe.

Yun lang!;P